2 minutes reading time (476 words)

Why should is shit!

Should-is-shit

I was attending my first Northern VA (virtual assistant) Conference when I had a lightbulb moment listening to a talk on mindset by Nicola Burt-Skinner

She discussed the pressures put on us in life and business by others, but mostly by ourselves. 

All the 'Shoulds' that we feel prompted to comply with because of the thoughts of others, the guilt we put on ourselves, and the pressures from family and friends.

  • You should have children
  • You should get married
  • You should get a real job
  • You should do it this way

Nicola was adamant that "All shoulds are shit" they trap you in thinking a set way, in conforming, and stop you from thinking creatively. Like any muscle, our brains need to be exercised to reach it's potential; by listening to other peoples 'Shoulds' we stop thinking for ourselves.

Last week I launched my own newsletter because that's what you 'should' do at a certain point in business, right! 

We've all seen the motivational sales funnel blog, how to build your list, the webinars on your opt-in offer, making your lead pages, and how to push your sales through to them. I know all the principals of these systems and have done them for other businesses in the past. I've been told this is what I should be doing for my business. 

I'm not going to do that though, because that's listening to other people 'Shoulds'. I've been struggling of late, not just with daily life and running a business during a pandemic, but with all the 'shoulds' that have been fired my way. During the lockdown, a lot of marketing professionals doubled down on their sales pushes, I saw none stop adverts for webinars, courses and suddenly reappeared on email lists I knew I'd unsubscribed from (naughty). It was overwhelming, tiring, felt icky, and most of the pitches started with You Should...

I've been struggling with matching up my why in business and my values of where I want my business to go. Then I had my 'Ta da' moment going back to my why in business, I want to show my children that you can build your own life on your own terms.  

It comes down to forgetting everyone else 'shoulds' in my business (and life) and make a clear path forward. No pushy sales pitches, no opt-in pay walls, or giant sales funnels. I want to build my community around authentic growth and collaboration because even if I'm not deluged in sales I'll be doing the work I want, my way. 

Have you had any revelations around your business during the lockdown? I'd love to know if you've had a total career change, went back to university, or pivoted your business in a new way. 

If you fancy reading my Drop of Happiness newsletter, there's a signup box at the bottom of my webpage, I'd love you to subscribe. 

3 Ways to Overcome Your Negative Thinking
 

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Wednesday, 02 December 2020

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